The weak man serves his fears. The strong man is free to serve others.
— Anonymous
For most modern people, the idea of 'loving others' represents being a person who is perpetually nice and benevolent toward others, regardless of what they do or the way they behave toward the doer of those good deeds...
Yet, I cannot help but think that the concept of loving others, being so vitally important, should be addressed in a deeper way: it should be looked at with one thing in mind — the long-term wellbeing to the ones being loved.
Looking at the ways in which we all tend to work, relate, and learn, it seems to me that men today, as they have ever been, are called to lay their lives down in the battles fought for the sake of others...
Men are called to serve. They are designed to make the lives of their families and communities easier — to stand up for those placed under their protection and care, and resist anything that is threatening their lives, wellbeing, and freedom. Men — if their masculine potential is accessed, nurtured, and developed — are equipped to fight those good battles with little regards to what it might cost them.
No wonder boys admire superheroes. It's in the blood.
In the past, of course, most of those battles were physical. Today, most of them are not — yet, in both cases there are great odds and high stakes; in both cases the suffering of the innocent is prevented by men who choose to bear the brunt of it instead of allowing it to be inflicted on others...
Those whose grandfathers bled, fought and died in the wars of the past, are today called upon to endure a suffering worthy of their forebears' sacrifice — not to waste their freedom by eating, drinking, and being merry, but to actually exercise it in various ways. I think that one of those ways in the responsibility to 'love one another' in such a way that enables men to willingly take great risks for those they love.
Same principle, same importance, but a different type of battle.
* * *
Before we wish men well and leave them to figure the rest out by themselves, we must be reminded of another truth...
This is the fact that, unless those who are called to do the loving — which is the hardest task in the history of humanity — have a healthy soul, and a freedom to live out their masculinity, things will not go well.
You see, in a war fought with rifles, grenades, and tanks, selfishness and cowardice are exposed fairly quickly, and those who would not fight are revealed for who they are.
Not so in the battles we face today. Our clean, manicured, eco-friendly world, has too often provided a hiding place for too many of us...myself included, time and time again.
Men who are too cowardly to love others — yes, even their enemies — with courage and strength, can now simply stay away from the battle, shying away from all form of love that may be too rocky for them...and they would not be thought of as cowards. Instead, they would pass for being 'nice', and 'laid back', and 'non-confrontational'...
Maybe some of them are; maybe this is their calling in life. But I am certain that men today, more than ever, are hiding behind their personalities, their fears, and their desire for the approval of others...
Weak men today pass for good, and the good are nowhere to be seen...
* * *
How, then, should men be good at loving others?
Answer: by desiring, first and foremost., the long-term wellbeing, fulfillment, and success of those others.
How can men do this well?
Answer: by allowing for a process of being 'stripped' from their inner fears, unsecurities, and selfish motives; a process of maturation, mentally and physically, inside and out — so that the best of their masculine essence is available, for the sake of their world.
* * *
Imagine now, if you will, a good man who is thus equipped — stripped from all falsehood, free from fear and the desire to be liked and please others. How would such a man love his family, his co-workers, his boss?
I'd say, with truth. In freedom. With no hidden motives, either for himself or those he addresses. With a real, genuine care for their wellbeing — not his own reputation or position. With true integrity.
Such a man is a world-changer...
And, if we only take ourselves seriously enough to pursue this way of living and loving, we can all be world-changers, no matter how small we think our lives are...
Let us therefore take a good, hard look at our own lives — not so that we can judge ourselves, and 'try harder', but so that we can see what is it that is holding us back from truly loving and serving others...
All fear save one must be banished, for fear and love cannot live together. The fear that must remain is the fear for the other person — the fear for the lives and souls of those we are to love. For, when men are passive and fearful in love, the vacuum of their inaction is always filled with dreadful things; men in their weakness drag others to their ruin, without for a moment making it look so.
This must not be; men must love courageously.
With much respect,
George Stoimenov
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